The following story is part of a joint project between myLifeSite and Senior Correspondent where people report on their senior living decision process.
By Parker McLendon
My wife and I learned that it’s better to choose before circumstances force you to choose. Leaving a home and moving to a retirement community is a major life change, and it’s easy to delay that decision until a crisis demands it. I’m grateful we made a voluntary, informed choice while we still had control over the outcome rather than waiting for an emergency to dictate our options.
Our move to Piedmont Crossing in Thomasville, N.C., came at a providential time. Three months after we settled in, my wife’s chronic illness became acute. Over the next six months she was hospitalized five times and then spent four months at home in hospice care before passing away. Because we had already made the move, we had access to the support and services we needed during those difficult months.
When evaluating senior living options, our top priority was finding a caring community that supported interdependence. We didn’t need to remain fully independent—if that had been the case, we could have stayed in our house. Administrators can’t create a caring community by mandate; residents build it through their interactions and commitments. We also knew we couldn’t expect to benefit from that community without investing ourselves. Mutual relationships require active participation.
Staying in Davidson County mattered to us so we could remain near friends, keep our church membership, and continue volunteer commitments. We began our search with Piedmont Crossing because of its strong reputation. The plan presented to us was financially viable, so we stopped looking further. We arranged a family conference that included our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and in-laws. We didn’t ask them to decide for us; we shared the physical and financial details and asked for their support, which they gladly gave.
The largest practical challenge was downsizing from a 2,400-square-foot house to a 950-square-foot apartment. Our two daughters took on the major tasks of sorting, packing, and distributing possessions. In the process we discovered a new sense of freedom: the things we had accumulated were, in the end, “just stuff.” Letting go of excess items proved less painful than we expected and opened space—for physical ease and for life in a different setting.
Choosing senior living is more than signing a contract; it requires acceptance of a new reality and a mental and emotional commitment. Embracing the decision led me to adopt three personal commitments that guided daily life:
- I will live in the present. I value the many memories of God’s guidance and providence, but I also recognize that God’s blessings were always experienced in the present. I aim to remain attentive to what is happening now and responsive to the people around me.
- I will blossom where I am planted. Like a rhododendron blooming in the crevice of a rock, I intend to live fully where I am, without resenting others for seemingly better circumstances.
- I will play the hand I have been dealt. In life we don’t control the cards we receive, only how we play them. As Kenny Rogers put it, “every hand’s a winner, and every hand’s a loser.” I will make the most of the hand I’ve been given.
“Choosing Senior Living” is a special series from myLifeSite and Senior Correspondent. Share your firsthand account of the senior living decision-making process by sending articles of 400 to 600 words to [email protected].
About Parker McLendon
Parker McLendon is an ordained Baptist minister who played a significant role in shaping child care services in North Carolina. A native of DeLand, Florida, he earned his bachelor’s degree at Stetson University, theology degrees at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, N.C., and a master’s degree in social work from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He has served as a pastor and residential child care administrator and was executive director of the North Carolina Residential Child Care Association.