It was a heartbreaking story out of Alberta, Canada that recently made headlines. Terry and Alma Bonnett, married for 66 years, have been forced to live apart because they require different levels of care. Alma, 89, suffered a hip fracture last year and now needs assistance in a long-term care (LTC) facility. Terry, 84, needs only modest help with activities of daily living (ADLs) and remains in the independent living apartment they once shared, a few blocks from Alma’s facility. Their separation highlights how many life plan communities can help keep couples close through changing health needs.
“It’s hard on a person,” Terry said. “You’ve been together that many years and then you get ready for bed and you get lonesome. There’s nobody to talk to in the evening. You sit here like a bump on a log.”
Alberta Health Services, which operates the LTC facility, says it isn’t feasible for Terry to move in with Alma because rooms must be available for seniors with an immediate long-term care need. Terry tries to visit daily, but Canadian weather and mobility limitations often make travel unsafe, leaving both spouses to endure long, lonely days apart.
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It’s better together
This unfortunate situation is not uncommon in the United States either, and each case carries its own emotional toll. Many senior living providers offer only one level of care—independent living, assisted living, or memory care—so couples can end up separated when one partner’s needs change. Other facilities provide only single-occupancy rooms, which can limit the ability for partners to stay physically close.
The consequences of isolation are real. A 2013 study from University College London found that loneliness combined with infrequent social interaction can shorten lifespan for both men and women, independent of other health issues. In short, long-term separation from a life partner can have serious effects on physical and emotional health.
Life plan communities, also known as continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs), offer a potential solution. CCRCs provide a continuum of care on a single campus—from independent living houses or apartments to assisted living and 24/7 skilled nursing. For couples, this model means that if one partner’s health declines, the other can remain nearby and visit easily, maintain daily routines together when possible, and preserve the couple’s emotional connection even when they live in different units.
If you’re considering a CCRC, it’s important to weigh factors such as financial feasibility and the specifics of each community’s residency contracts. Contract types, entrance fees, monthly service charges, and what’s included in care levels can vary significantly between communities, so review each agreement carefully before committing.
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Moving before you must
Many couples choose to move to a CCRC while both partners are still able to live independently. Some communities require that new residents be capable of “walking in” and managing daily tasks at the time of move-in. Planning and relocating before a sudden health crisis occurs can prevent disqualification and preserve the couple’s opportunity to age together on the same campus.
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A life-long partnership
When one spouse needs higher levels of care but the other remains largely independent, the situation presents both logistical and emotional challenges. Choosing a life plan community can lessen those burdens by keeping couples close, simplifying caregiving coordination, and helping partners stay emotionally connected throughout the later stages of life.