A viral video from last year captured a moving reunion that highlighted a common issue for older couples. In the footage, an 89-year-old husband moved into his wife’s nursing home after pandemic restrictions prevented them from visiting each other for months. Their emotional reunion deeply affected staff and viewers alike.
Stories like this became familiar during and after the COVID-19 pandemic. Many couples were separated because one partner lived in a long-term care facility while the other remained at home. Those separations often exposed long-standing challenges related to differing care needs and facility policies.
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Different care needs, different locations
The issue of couples living apart because of unequal care requirements predates the pandemic. As partners age, one may need a higher level of support — assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing — while the other remains independent. That split can be temporary or permanent depending on health changes.
Separation can be painful for both partners. The spouse who remains at home may feel guilt or helplessness if distance or logistics make frequent visits difficult. The partner in a higher level of care often faces loneliness and increased emotional distress, which can be especially challenging for those with cognitive impairment or confusion.
Many senior living communities offer only one level of care. Independent living communities focus on activity and autonomy but don’t provide assisted living or memory care services. Conversely, some facilities specialize in long-term or memory care and don’t offer independent living options. In addition, many long-term care facilities provide single-occupancy rooms, which limits the possibility of couples sharing living space if both need on-site care.
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Together for life in a CCRC
To address these concerns, some couples choose to move proactively to a continuing care retirement community (CCRC), also known as a life plan community, while they are still relatively healthy. CCRCs offer a continuum of care — independent living, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing — typically on a single campus, allowing residents to remain close even if their care needs change.
While couples may not always share the same apartment or unit when one requires higher care, the close proximity in a CCRC makes daily visits and shared meals more feasible. This convenience provides peace of mind and helps preserve daily routines and companionship, which are important for emotional well-being.
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Growing old … together
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 70 percent of people over 65 will need some form of long-term care during their lives. Women typically require care for a longer period than men, and a notable portion of older adults will need care for more than five years. These statistics suggest many couples will face differing care timelines, increasing the risk of extended separation.
Decisions about senior living depend on many factors, including finances, health needs, and quality of life. For couples who prioritize remaining near one another, a CCRC can offer a practical solution by reducing the likelihood of prolonged separation if one partner’s care needs increase. While not the right choice for everyone, life plan communities can ease the emotional strain associated with diverging health trajectories.
To learn more about CCRCs in your area, check out our free online community search tool.