By Bob Marshall
The following story is part of a joint project between myLifeSite and Senior Correspondent where we ask people to report on their senior living decision process.
I had lost a spouse and my first instinct was to stay close to everything familiar — friends, neighborhood routines and community ties. Over several months, however, I began to see retirement differently. The house we had built and filled with memories now had to be sold, and the prospect of downsizing was emotionally and physically demanding. Many of my friends were couples, and social dynamics changed for me as a single man in my 70s. My three children encouraged me to move nearer to them. My oldest son bluntly reminded me, “Dad, you’re in great shape now, but the day is coming when we are not going to be eager to drive eight hours to change your diaper.” It was harsh but true. I knew it was time to consider a change.
Relocating felt overwhelming. How would I find friendships and a meaningful community? Around that time, a college friend surprised me by saying he and his wife were thinking about moving to a continuing care retirement community (CCRC) in western North Carolina. I didn’t know what a CCRC was, so they explained: a community that provides independent living with a continuum of care available as needs change. I protested that I was healthy, active and happy in my home, but curiosity took hold.
Chance provided an opportunity. A conference I attended was only about 15 minutes from the CCRC my friends were considering, so I used a free afternoon to visit. After an impromptu tour with other prospective residents that lasted nearly an hour and a half, my whole perception of retirement communities shifted. I found a lively community of people enjoying a wide range of activities, supported by staff when needs arose.
Like many in my generation, I had assumed retirement communities were places where independence ended. What I discovered was the opposite: a CCRC can be a vibrant, active environment where people who have had successful careers continue to be engaged physically and mentally. It wasn’t a place defined by need but by choice. Residents enjoy the freedom of leaving property worries behind while having essentials like meals and transportation taken care of.
Both my parents developed dementia, and my sisters and I struggled through the process of finding appropriate care for them. The idea of moving into a CCRC that offers levels of care as required in the future felt like a relief — a gift to my children who would not have to make difficult decisions on my behalf. A friend put it plainly: “It’s better to be 10 years early than five minutes late.”
I began researching CCRCs within an hour of where my children and grandchildren live. As a careful shopper, I compared many options. The cost was initially shocking — these communities are not inexpensive — and they vary in how residents pay and what services are included. Some operate as nonprofits, while many are run by corporations that provide services to the community. It became clear that higher costs often reflect broader services and greater stability.
When I compared annual expenses excluding utilities, taxes, insurance and food, the CCRC model compared favorably. I also learned that portions of my monthly long-term care premiums could be deductible as health care expenses. Ultimately, I chose a plan that charged a bit more monthly in exchange for predictable costs and security if my care needs increased. I wanted to avoid being “nickel and dimed” for services. CCRCs that assume financial responsibility for residents’ future care also tend to be selective about admissions and proactive in helping residents remain independent.
I toured several communities. Many had appealing features, but I usually left with reservations—until I visited Galloway Ridge. The campus sits within Fearrington Village, a picturesque planned community of about 3,000 mostly retired residents. Fearrington developed Galloway Ridge, and many of the 450 residents there had previously lived in the village, maintaining friendships and neighborhood ties.
Galloway Ridge and the village share events, clubs, a bookstore, shops and restaurants. The campus includes a gym and health care facilities affiliated with two major medical centers. The calendar of daily activities and an extensive library made it obvious this was not a nursing home but a full, engaged life for residents.
The place felt like a warm, welcoming home — which is exactly how residents experience it. Transportation to appointments and to cultural and sporting events in Chapel Hill, Durham and Raleigh is provided without extra charge. The combination of social life, services and convenience answered many of my concerns.
It has been two and a half years since I moved in, and I still pinch myself at how much I enjoy life here. Friendships deepen, and I continue to learn from and admire the talents of my fellow residents. Being involved in self-governance and working alongside staff provides meaningful challenges and purpose. I feel fortunate I made this decision when I did.
And the college friend who first suggested a CCRC? He and his wife live here now, too.
“Choosing Senior Living” is a special series of myLifeSite and Senior Correspondent. Share your firsthand account of the senior living decision-making process. Contact us at [email protected] to submit your story today!